Q: What is happiness in your opinion?
Shailendra: When the most prominent desires are being fulfilled then that thing is happiness. And even I think that the next step beyond happiness is satisfaction. They are together I think, you can not separate them. Without the satisfaction of any kind you simply can not be happy.
Q: Yesterday we discussed that you were saying: why rely on the comments of others — my happiness is lying inside me.
Shailendra: Yes. Everybody cares about what others will say about him or her. If you are confident enough then you will feel happy in what are you doing. Still when your happiness depends on somebody’s else comment you simply can not be happy.
Q: That is true. I observed long ago that a very poor person can feel very happy and a very rich person like a king may live unhappily almost the whole life.
Shailendra: I think this thing is also not right. Because poor people tend to think: “Oh, he must be also unhappy”. But how can you judge whether he is happy or sad?
Q: Sometimes even from the descriptions of history you can judge whether the person was satisfied or not at least.
Shailendra: Okay. But you also have to experience every type of happiness he had in his life. And also after becoming a king there is nothing else remaining for him to achieve. So maybe what they call unhappiness is simply a boredom? What else to do?
Q: Okay, what I want to say is that happiness is a temporary thing — he doesn’t feel happy all the time.
Shailendra: Everything in this world is temporary. Nothing is permanent. Even sadness. All the problems, happiness, satisfaction.
Q: But if we continue your concept everything is about the mind. It is lying inside, it is your attitude.
Shailendra: Not exactly attitude, simply having an attitude is nothing unless you are trying to achieve something, trying to do something in the world. Even following your destiny is a very big task. How many people do you see who just make themselves follow the destiny? Those who have realized that you have to follow the destiny no matter what you do. Such people can be called much more happier then a normal person. They realize that they have to follow the destiny, so maybe they are less unhappy than others.
Q: If they know what is the destiny for them.
Shailendra: No, they have realized the power of destiny. And they let themselves just flow with it. Because simply they will follow the destiny, they will be continuously able to realize what their destiny is having for him. So then life can become like an adventure for them. Unhappiness starts when you try to put your mind over the destiny. “I want this. Why is this happening to me?” Then unhappiness begins. Instead of understanding why it is happening he starts to demand. And you know like parents never give a child everything he demands. Because they are in a position to see: this thing is good for him and that thing is not. But that will make the child unhappy. So much more deeper and bigger understanding is required.
Q: With some point of time there is a trigger: you feel that you are happy.
Shailendra: Only when you are in the dominating position and whatever you are saying is going on and some of your desires are being fulfilled then you think you are happy. And if you are being confrontated, and somebody else is trying to dominate over you, trying to order you around, you feel like in a very hard situation. This is human nature to dominate others.
Q: How to overcome it?
Shailendra: You can not overcome it. It is deep down in us. So that’s the instinct: to dominate others or I will die.
Q: How to face this situation?
Shailendra: Simply by understanding it.