I was twenty six and a half. In fact I failed to understand the significance of it. I thought whoever will do khechary and receive second level will be able to become a Guru. That was my first impression. For about one hour I was under this impression. Then I asked one of the fellow disciples who was present: «how many gurus were there?» He said, “No one.” Then I discussed it with my Guru. Actually it was too big a thing to be taken, understood by me then.
Actually what happened: I had done Khechri and I was there for receiving the second level, which he had written me: “come and you will receive the second level”. There was a temple of Shiva, with a very beautiful 7 feet tall Shivaling shining and black; and there were statues of Lahiri Mahasaya and Tinkori. And he used to recite Gita in front of them everyday. So he just gave me amantra and samantra together and said: “I am reading Gita, you just serve Lahiri Mahasaya”. I had never served anyone before, so I said: “how should I serve?” – “You just do some massage”. Feeling foolish, I just started massaging the right shoulder and arm of the marble statue. He was reading Gita. And I was feeling foolish, of course. I was too practical in those days. After 5-7 minutes, suddenly a great fear arose in me. I felt that I was touching living flesh and blood, not marble. The first feeling was fear. It was too much.
He noticed it, and he just told me: “Go outside; wait in the room”. It was the room where he used to give initiation. I immediately came out of the temple, and was sitting in the room waiting and thinking, whether I had been initiated and what actually happened. And then within 10 minutes he came down the steps of the temple running. He was very old and had asthmatic condition also; and he came running towards me crossing his short courtyard.
I thought I had done some mistake, and he was coming to shout at me. I just stood up. And the first thing he said was, “Now you are a Guru. Now you can give initiation. Everybody has said it. Now you are a Guru.” I was flabbergasted; I had no idea how to give response to this. I was shocked, amazed, so I just offered my pranam; an that was it.
Not at that moment that I realized it. But then it grew. Slowly, slowly. And something happened – the ability to give immediate answers came from that. Till then I had been an extremely shy person, I was not talking much. And my weight grew. I became more physically strong also. And within a week, he was so weak physically that he was unable to climb the stairs. We had to carry him on our backs.
And after that, it happened since ’84 and till ’87, several times secretly I went inside the temple and touched it but nothing happened.
Two-three times a year, I visited him for 20-30 days. And after that, he would give time to initiate others, and I would go there an he would let me initiate them. He would just sit and watch how I was teaching them and how I was answering their questions.
I simply told my relatives, that I was doing it on my Guru’s behalf. And that was just a blast of improvement, everything changed. But I continued to live in a rented house. And after Babaji’s meeting – no rental house anymore.